studio bruise

I was aware of my breath - more than ever before - and how it connects to tensions in the body, I hear the rattling, I hear the sound of the pencil on my paper, I feel what it is to press into this place, I strike a match to melt a candle end, it turns the white to black, I light a candle and wait for the oil to fall on it - its resists, I feel the heat too near to my skin, I blow a balloon and let the air out gently -against my lips
i blow a balloon i press against it, i push to force the air out, i slowly release, i takes longer than i think to deflate, i blow trying to be silent, and suck back in, i have to take breaths, i take only the first breath and it goes nowhere, i release and let it struggle, i blow, release, release my body with it, I deflate, inflate, + inflate, deflate my face in the balloon, i see light reflected in its surface, i feel my spittle fall out, its stuck together, lay on my back and let the air blow on my face and spittle comes out, one continuous movement, inflate and keep inflated without fingers, head pushed into balloon, lose end and suck it like a child